small stones...

My - here it is, 2011. I've wandered through several years of living to get to NOW. Many little trails, a few long highways.


I'm now living with my mom, in Bay City, Oregon. Living in the same bedroom I grew up in. Weird doesn't even begin to describe how it feels at times. Mom is at the point in her life that it's a bit safer for her to have a house companion. Progressive dementia isn't fun. And it may be contagious, I'm finding...


The one truism of life: life goes on.
And on, and on, and on...


I just this moment found an intriguing little side path that I want to pursue.

http://ariverofstones.blogspot.com

Writing is not an urgent compulsion for me, but I so enjoy the process, and what it brings to me. Emotional releases that come no other way. Some chuckles to myself from time to time. A place for introspection, a time for sharable (is that a word??) solitude (is that a true concept?). As much as computers aggravate me, they are useful for this process. So I tolerate and use this tidy laptop. I still connect with the urge that made me begin this particular blog, and fittingly, I'm sitting here at the kitchen table with my writin' tool, so back to business. Writing for myself, and maybe a few visitors who like to browse or voyeurize (wow, another new word) here and there.

Here's my small stone for the day, to start my new "hobby":

A new living room picture window was installed this morning. Some provocative thoughts came to mind: the old window was clouded, difficult to see through or even recognize what was on the other side of that once-clear pane - rather like the past life I've left behind. The light and clarity allowed by the new window are startling, even painful to the eye - but makes the viewing so much more enjoyable. Perhaps a fitting analogy for what lies before me, my "new life". Without my life-companion, without my beloved grandpunks, without as much time for ME as I would desire - without without without. I still can't see far into that concept of my future, it's sometimes scary, frequently painful and frustrating - but, as always - life goes on.
Looking from the inside out through the fogged-up window is not how I want to spend my life. I want to be on the other side, LIVING life. I can do that, with small stones. And not throwing them, either. But how tempting.

With that thought to ponder through the day, I'm adding a quote recently plucked from the CURVES daily bulletin:

"We can't change the past but we can ruin a perfectly good present by worrying about the future."

Health gain

http://www.rawmazing.com/articles/raw-food-and-weight-loss/

Raw food is not about "weight loss" - it is about "health gain."

Shackles of Presuppositions


A truth's initial commotion is directly proportional to how deeply the lie was believed. It wasn't the world being round that agitated people, but that the world wasn't flat. When a well-packaged web of lies has been sold gradually to the masses over generations, the truth will seem utterly preposterous and it's speaker a raving lunatic.

~Dresden James

I particularly appreciate this quote, as I continue my pursuit and practice of achieving and maintaining good health.


The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the
future, or not to anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly.
- Buddah

"Shower Thy grace upon us in the moment of our greatest need, protect us from ourselves, and allow us to be a beacon of light rather than a dark cloud for the ambience that surrounds us. Only with Thy aid can we create that peace within and harmony with the outer environment, both natural and social, for which our souls yearn."~Seyyed Hossein Nasrfrom Talking to God:Portrait of a World at Prayer (anthology)

Rise from sleep...

"There will be something, anguish or elation, that is peculiar to this day alone. I rise from sleep and say: Hail to the morning! Come down to me, my beautiful unknown."~Jessica Powers

Essentially Jesus

Excerpt from Stephen Mitchell....

"...can feel Jesus’ radiance whether or not he is teaching or healing; they can feel it in proportion to their own openness. There is a deep sense of peace in his presence, and a sense of respect for him that far exceeds what they have felt for any other human being. Even his silence is eloquent. He is immediately recognizable by the quality of his aliveness, by his disinterestedness and compassion. He is like a mirror for us all, showing us who we essentially are.
The image of the Master: one glimpseand we are in love.
He enjoys eating and drinking, he likes to be around women and children; he laughs easily, and his wit can cut like a surgeon’s scalpel. His trust in God is as natural as breathing, and in God’s presence he is himself fully present. In his bearing, in his very language, he reflects God’s deep love for everything that is earthly: for the sick and the despised, the morally admirable and the morally repugnant, for weeds as well as flowers, lions as well as lambs. He teaches that just as the sun gives light to both wicked and good, and the rain brings nourishment to both righteous and unrighteous, God’s compassion embraces all people. There are no pre-conditions for it, nothing we need to do first, nothing we have to believe. When we are ready to receive it, it is there. And the more we live in its presence, the more effortlessly it flows through us, until we find that we no longer need external rules or Bibles or Messiahs.
For this teaching which I give you today is not hidden from you, and is not far away. It is not in heaven, for you to say, “Who will go up to heaven and bring it down for us, so that we can hear it and do it?” Nor is it beyond the sea, for you to say, “Who will cross the sea and bring it back for us, so that we can hear it and do it?” But the teaching is very near you: it is in your mouth and in your heart, so that you can do it.
He wants to tell everyone about the great freedom: how it feels when we continually surrender to the moment and allow our hearts to become pure, not clinging to past or future, not judging or being judged. In each person he meets he can see the image of God in which they were created. They are all perfect, when he looks at them from the Sabbath mind. From another, complementary, viewpoint, they are all imperfect, even the most righteous of them, even he himself, because nothing is perfect but the One. He understands that being human means making mistakes. When we acknowledge this in all humility, without wanting anything else, we can forgive ourselves, and we can begin correcting our mistakes. And once we forgive ourselves, we can forgive anyone.He has no ideas to teach, only presence. He has no doctrines to give, only the gift of his own freedom.

Tolerant like the sky,
all-pervading like sunlight,
firm like a mountain,
supple like a branch in the wind,
he has no destination in view
and makes use of anything
life happens to bring his way.
Nothing is impossible for him.
Because he has let go,
he can care for the people’s welfare
as a mother cares for her child."